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How Do You Deal With A Controlling Boss

+5 votes
27 views

My boss wants to overly control my activities and in her memos to me says that if I do not comply with her requests that it may impact my annual rating or lead to disciplinary action. Any advice? Should I go over her head and see what HER boss says about it? I plan on retiring in three years as a US Gov employee with 35 years of service if that matters....

asked Jan 9 in Career by Your Champion (53,110 points)

7 Answers

+3 votes

I would print out that email to keep, and I would speak to her superior if I could not get anywhere with the boss. Or, if you have an HR, speak to them.   I don't think they would like a stress claim, so it's worth a shot. 


"Imagine a world where we are all enlightened by objective truths rather than offended by them"

answered Jan 9 by lavender (719,410 points)
+3 votes

Sounds to me like you don't take direction very well. Is it because she is a woman that you don't feel like you need to listen to what your superior is telling you to do?  That is the problem with most of the work force today.  They think they know better than their superiors.  Why is it so hard to do what you are being asked and paid to do?  So rather than doing what you are told to do, you want to go try and get your superior in trouble.  How lame is that?  Some people work harder to get out of work than the actual work at hand.  You sound like that type of person. 

answered Jan 9 by juandontbeg (10,820 points)
+3 votes

This is a horrible answer, I know...but with only 3 years to retirement, I'd suck it up, let her "overly control my activities" and then spill all of her dirty secrets at my exit interview, including giving them copies of the threatening e-mails.

Of course, this advice is assuming she's trying to control your WORK activities. If she is trying to control your personal activities while not on the job, I'd have her sorry ass in HR so fast her head would spin. 

answered Jan 9 by justpassingthru (753,860 points)
+4 votes

Before you go over her head, speak to her directly Give her a chance and you a chance to explain if you can't come to an amicable agreement your prepared to escalate it upI can't speak for an HR outwith the UK because here they are just the "rule keepers" and are there to ensure policy and procedure is being followed by staff and management but they offer a mediation service which is helpful and is not meant to be on record.


Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

answered Jan 9 by Glasgowbelle (1,161,400 points)
+3 votes

I'm sorry but I agree w/juandon'tbeg

If your boss feels the need to put it to you like that? You must be (sorry again!) one crappy employee. She has to tell you verbatim, to the freaking letter, what to do? You need a roadmap or you won't work/won't do it the way the S.O.P. states it's to be done?

Dude. You only got 3 years left. You're a federal employee. Permanent. They can't fire you. It 'd take (literally) and act of Congress to get rid of you. 

And we all know evals mean squat in the real world. They won't stop you from getting full retirement pay, they won't stop you from drawing social security, etc.

So what's the bfd? Do what she tells you, how she tells to, to the freaking LETTER. And if you have questions, ask.

Going over her head to the real boss will just expose YOU. How do you know that he/she's not BCC'd on every single email she sends you? If I had an employee who had to be forced to do his job, I'd make sure to BCC my boss on every piece of correspondence I sent out. To cover my ass.

By the way, I've been working for the Federal Government for nearly 40 years. I could retire now but why? And do what?

So I'm not "guessing" here.

answered Jan 9 by hnygrl (238,340 points)
+2 votes

Slip that bitch some rat poison.

answered Jan 10 by UnfulfilledDesires (1,594,140 points)
+1 vote

Here's the game....

....your *boss* as you refer to her,..now get this...she has no damn business in her position...ZERO.

You dont mention what type of work you do, or at what level she or you are at, but she is spinless and politically motivated. NOBODY, repeat,nobody who is a professional manager puts that sort of shit in a damn memo. Nobody.

She needs to call you into her office discretely for a meeting, a meeting that is conducted in a manner that tells you where you are deficient, and than tells you what needs to be done to insure you are successful at fulfilling her requirements. 

If you continue to fail she is to continue to do this and provide addtional training if it is fesuible, ta tell you what is going to happen if you continue to be deficient. This is called progressive discipline with discipline meaning to counsel and assist.

This woman hasn't any balls, she is one of these people that manages by getting people to like her and the result will eventually be failure if she is in a high postion in a serious organization. I can see it now, she likes ass kissers whoo pretend to like her.

You approach her, ask her for a meeting and request she inform yu what is expected assuming that you don't already know. You will know right away if it is abot principle or personality. You just need to make sure ou performance is bullet proof. Not hard to do if you know what is expected. I guarantee you that when you request this meetig she will squirm. She hs no balls.

In any professional company (what irony here) there are 3  kisses of death. One is to go over your supervisors head as in using the so called chain of command. The other 2 are to be a whistle blower and the last is to go to HR with a problem about your supervisor. That is corporate America in a nut shell.

Your only other option is to leave.


"Tired of *people* and their bull sh*t, yours, theirs, and mostly mine' ~Me~

answered Jan 10 by BUFFER (1,296,280 points)


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