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+4 votes

Today I was reminded that I need to curb my humor around certain women in the "mom circle"... or do I?

My daughter has approximately 8,000 events and functions and since our girls go to the same school, do the same sports and are members of the same clubs, I've been seeing these moms for years.  We have a good rapport and a few of the women have become really good friends.

To be frank, I'm freaking over all of these events.  When I'm over something my go-to is sarcasm or jokes. The accomplishments are lovely but I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Today we had events both downtown and then way up in the burbs.  I was standing with four moms and we were talking about the craziness.  We were all venting/bitching and I said, "Why can't our kids just be delinquents? At this point I'm trying to find out how much money I can get for her on ebay".  Three of the moms laughed but the fourth one shot me a death glare saying, "Child trafficking is a terrible problem in this country"  *record scratch*  It got super awkward and I fumbled for a moment about what to say.  Finally I managed, "Well yes it is...bad joke".

Then I contemplated it a bit more and I got annoyed.  Aren't jokes about taking absurd situations and making light of them for the sake of a laugh?  I wasn't even thinking in the sense of trafficking in that way.  My point was that we have high quality kids.

We all have different sensitivities....what I can joke about may be traumatic for someone else.  We don't know what other people have experienced in life.  I understand all of that.  So what's the "safe zone"?  I don't think there is one except to talk about cute kittens or watching paint dry (but then what if someone's kitten fell in a bucket of paint back in the day and they get triggered?)

How do you manage this sort of thing?

in Just Relax by (239,450 points)

7 Answers

+3 votes

I think some people like a laugh and a joke, when it suits them. What I don't like is someone who likes dishing it out but can't take it in return.

Just Relax and have Fun with it.

by (3,775,641 points)
+3 votes

This is right up my ally because I have a very sarcastic sense of humor, and I have been in similar situations.  When someone gets an attitude toward me because they don't have a sense of humor or at least my sense of humor, I let it go.  I always figure that is on them.  That death stare she shot you was to make you feel awkward, and I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel awkward in a harmless situation like that.  So, I don't give them the satisfaction.   Obviously you were joking, and any otherwise intelligent person would know the difference.  She's the one with the problem.

+3 votes

You don't. 

You remind yourself (and her too if she has the balls to come at you) that this is HER ISSUE and has nothing whatsoever to do with you and if she can't take a joke she should stand her little triggered behind *over there*

Eesh...next thing ya know she gonna be bitching about "black people" or some such.

Never apologize for being who you are. That's what you'd tell your daughter, so live by it. This is HER STUFF not yours and you should not censor or limit yourself because some special little snowflake has no sense of humor.

Bump that noise...

*now I'm pissed off FOR You*

by (478,180 points)
+3 votes

Me being me, I deal with this daily.  I look at it like this:  I have 3 triggers, and if you bring them up, I will be hurt, but I may not say anything.  If I got offended everyday because of someone saying something, I would never be able to have peace.

I see it this way:  If I know you, and I trust you enough that you know said triggers, and you push the button, I will be hurt for a long time.  If I just met you, I shrug it off, until you get to know me.

Knowing you, I would know it was just a joke, and if you say you have known these women for years, obviously other mothers aren't observant

Time is simply how we live our lives-Craig Sager

by (1,287,720 points)
+3 votes
I would also say the mother needs to lighten up and get the stick out of her backside.  I am pretty certain every parent at some point along the way has said something similar just to smile instead of cry.

I have never met you in person, but I know the type of person you are, and a mother who has been around you for years should know that

Time is simply how we live our lives-Craig Sager

by (1,287,720 points)
+3 votes

I can't even imagine "child trafficking" being the first thing I'd think of at that joke. Talk about a buzz-kill. That lady needs to lighten up. A lot.  If people don't get your humor, that's not your fault and you shouldn't change yourself or your humor because of it. I think we're all too easily offended these days. 

I'm not a mom, but I would've laughed my ass off at your comment.  I'm a huge animal lover and a life-long supporter of animal welfare, but I still joke that I'm going to make stew out of my cats when they get annoying.  And all my huge animal-lover, animal-welfare-supporter friends LAUGH

by (2,157,330 points)

hahah that is funny.  When my daughter starts to  miss our dog and asks me to text her a picture, I have taken a pic of my crock pot and told her that he's not done yet.   


LMAO! That's awesome!! Great minds think alike! 

+3 votes


She needs to.... wait, never mind. I won't offend anybody. Lol

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

by (1,252,170 points)
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