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+1 vote
A buddy from work and I were talking about taking a guys trip during some time off from our job. His girl he's dating overheard the conversation and I think my bud felt pressured into inviting her. I didn't want to be a third wheel so I invited this girl I had just started seeing.
At first all sounds good in my head, I wanted to get an Airbnb or VRBO house, cause for what you get it seems to beat a hotel.
Now my girl's asking about my friend and the women he's bringing, and I'm starting to wonder about the dynamics of it all. All of us enjoying enjoying a vacation together under one roof (with lot's of [separate] "fun")
Maybe we should get separate hotel rooms instead? Both my friend and I have made it clear to our girls we're just looking to have a good time for now and see where it leads, but at the same time, I believe we both wanna spend a little quality time with our girls. For what it's worth, we're going to what I'd call a "Party City".
I don't know how this'll play out, I believe we're all easy-going, but I was wonder if there was any advice you folks could give me so we could all have a good time.
in Dating by (100 points)

4 Answers

+3 votes

Get two separate hotel rooms, the women do not know each other.  That dynamic can get messy real fast if those two do not get along.  Been there, done that, do not want the reunion T-shirt evver

“Better a true enemy than a false friend.”

by (2,896,610 points)

Ditto.   Exactly what I would have suggested.

+1 vote

It’s a crap shoot- but there are some steps you can take to try to ensure a fun not dramatic trip. For instance, you’re getting to know the other guys girlfriend as well- don’t become buddy buddies with her, compliment your date in front of the group, be prepared your date could run off with someone else or your friend could hit on her- you’re just taking a trip together doesn’t bump you up to exclusive and serious, but a smart person to avoid conflicts would only focus on their date as far as opposite sex goes- so act smart and be prepared she may not.  If you do all four stay together at a hotel or Airbnb, don’t have every meal together, plan activities or nights out that you all go out together- but don’t allow them in the room when you’re date is getting dressed, be mindful she could be trying to make a good impression and not want to be compared when she’s fresh out of the shower to your friends date that gussied up for an evening out.

by (334,400 points)
0 votes

At this point it's not too late to kill the whole idea.

You and your buddy planned a fun trip.  You like each other.

But, you just started going out with you current woman.  A trip alone with just her would be risky enough.

I don't know how you feel about his gf.  But that could easily be a mine field.  There is a good chance that what you and he were planning is not going to happen with her along.

The odds of the two women getting along like old friends is practically zero.

We don't know how he is going to feel about your girl friend.

I see no upside to this trip.

But if you are going.  Make separate arrangements.  Separate rooms in a hotel where you don't have to see each other if you do t want.  That way, when it goes bad, you can make separate day/night plans without bothering each other.

Good luck.

by (1,272,270 points)
0 votes

I personally would never invite a friend on vacation unless it was all agreed on prior.  I also am old school and feel that a vacation is a huge relationship step.  You don't sound like you have even been dating long, if you are even dating.

I like my private space

Time is simply how we live our lives-Craig Sager

by (1,283,070 points)
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