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+2 votes

So for the past month or so my husband has talked to me with a tone as though he’s angry. Usually atleast 70% of the day he talks to me like this. It’s Whenever I ask for help with anything especially so. Anywho, I told him this behavior is making me angry, as I make dinner, and he just continues playing on his phone and says nothing. Once he’s off his phone, I ask him why he didn’t respond. And he says “well, what do you want me to do about it?!” I start crying and he says “I’m sorry but can we eat now.” I told him I just want him to show me he loves me, so he says he’ll make dessert. Now it’s after dinner and he’s acting all mopey saying he doesn’t want to make me dessert. So I act sad and say that actions speak louder than words, and he says I have it wrong, that, yes, he has been treating me badly but I act as if he has a choice. He has bi-polar. He’s saying because he has bi polar he HAS NO CHOICE but to treat me meanly. He only sees his own feelings and disregards mine because, after all, he’s the one with bi-polar. Somebody please give some advice about what to do or say. Thank you.

in Married Life by (150 points)

3 Answers

0 votes

 He does not sound bi polar to me. I’m sorry I think he is being mean to you.  You don’t say how long you have been married. why not try to go family counseling (both of you).

by (29,480 points)
+1 vote

I’m sorry you’re going through this. To me it sounds like he’s using this bi-polar condition (true or not) as an excuse to avoid blame. But if he’s that much out of control, you should be worried about your safety (and that of your kids and pets if you have any). Not saying he’ll do anything drastic, but you can try to use his supposedly having no control as a bargaining chip to get you and him to see a psychologist or psychiatrist or counselor. Find one and tell them what is going on. They’d be able to help. 

I hope it all works out. 

by (89,960 points)
0 votes

Not enough information to know if he is truly bi polar or not, but regardless that is still not an excuse to treat you poorly. Sounds like he is using this as a get away free pass to be disrespectful to you and treat you badly. I would go to counseling and try to get some things evaluated. It could benefit you both to having a better understanding. Although, some people choose not to understand and remain stubborn.

 If he loves you and wants things to be better, he would try to be understanding rather than using being bi polar to his advantage as a shield. I know there are difficulties and struggles with being bi polar, but just because someone is bi polar, depressed, or has anxiety does not mean they have to be mean or unpleasant to others with no regard for other people's feelings. He sounds like an insensitive jackass, to me. Bi polar or not. He is still very aware of his behavior and seems to be unapologetic and trying to justify wrong behavior...which is still WRONG.

by (189,910 points)
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