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+1 vote

I have been dating my fella for 5 years.  I have recently found him texting girls I do not know a lot. One through a dating site. It is not sexual just small talk but he is not chatting to me much. He says he has known them longer than me and has always done this. There are other women he chats with a lot too but I have met them and know they are his friends. 

However I now feel that he is emotionally cheating am I overreacting? 

in Dating by (100 points)

4 Answers

+1 vote

No, you are not over reacting. Your worries are normal. 

But before jumping to any conclusions, few questions. Have you met any of these girls? Are you also friends with them? If you wanted to be friends, would he be ok with it? Have you ever read these texts? Are they flirtatious in nature?

Ask yourself those questions .. If he is flirting with them, if he doesn't want you to know them, if he is hiding what's going on with those girls, then you should be worried.

5 years is a long time to be together. I hope you have developed enough trust and communication to address this issue head on with him.

by (339,180 points)
+1 vote

One through a dating website? That is a massive red flag. He should not be on a dating website at all. Just chatting via Facebook or through text that's fine, but a dating website? There's an issue there.

"I'll make sure to sin in as many entertaining ways as possible before I die." - Sheogorath

by (604,970 points)
+1 vote

The only thing I see wrong with his behavior is that he is texting someone from a dating site. You only do that if you are looking to date. Other than that, he can have female friends as long as he doesnt want to date them. What would he do if you asked him to get rid of his dating site profile? He needs to have one in order to talk to others on it. 

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.       -Socrates

by (782,420 points)
+1 vote

I think that your reaction is totally normal. You've met the other girls and have confirmed that they are his friends, but I'd be concerned about the fact that he's on a DATING SITE.

When he's dating you, then there is absolutely NO REASON that he should be on there chatting with other girls even when it is casual and he has known them longer because it shows disrespect to your overall relationship and it's as if he's trying to form a backup plan in case things don't work out.

Five years together is a very long time, but there are things you have to ask yourself and him. Is this the first time this has happened? Have you voiced your concerns to him about it? How did he respond? Was he open to you meeting his female friends?

by (9,670 points)
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