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+1 vote

As of this weekend, I am going to be moving from two of the worst roommates I have ever had the experience of living with. They're related to one another (brother and sister) and the sister makes more than the two of us combined while the brother works 8hrs a week and makes no effort to get more hours or another job, which makes him unable to pay his share of the rent or for his sister's older car that she dumped on him since she got a new one. So I'm stuck paying for both my share and his ($600 bucks. May not seem like much, but it gets costly) along with half of the utilities, which has me pushing back my own bills to make due. I also seem to be the only one that cleans the house and takes care of the two dogs that the sister owns (she constantly neglects them and rarely buys them food).

There has also been about four or five times where the brother has threatened to kick me out (when he doesn't have the authority since it's his sister's house) because I've voiced how tired I was of him just taking up space and making no effort to contribute to anything and his sister just enables him and doesn't try to help at all.

From this and with the help of a friend, I'm moving this weekend since this situation is costing me more than it is saving me and I'm wondering if and when I should tell my roommates. I think leaving without saying anything would be immature and rude, but since they haven't had the courtesy of treating me with any kindness, would it be worth telling them?

If I should tell them, I'm wondering if I should do it asap to get it over with, but considering how they are, I don't want them to do anything to my things when I'm away from the house at work, which is making me wonder if it would be better to tell them the day of. This way, I won't have to worry about any sort of conflict and I would have my stuff already packed and be able to leave without a problem.

in Daily Life by (9,670 points)

7 Answers

+2 votes

What does the agreement say?

Do you have any deposit ??

If there is no official lease or deposit, no prior notice would be ok given the situation. They may demand one more month's rent. Be prepared for all sorts of crazy behavior.

If sister is reasonable to deal with, speak with her. 

by (342,880 points)

The sister really isn't that reasonable and nothing was official in writing. I paid a $400 deposit before we moved in, but I'm not on the lease and neither is her brother.


You may not get deposit back though if you aren't giving notice.


I don't really mind the deposit since what I've been paying for here has been as stressful and irritating as the stay. When I move, I'll easily make that back and I'll be getting even more in my tax return.

+2 votes

Best to wait, for they might decide to be vicious and destroy your things when you are away.

by (4,118,950 points)

I was thinking that, but I doubt they would want the lawsuit. I do, however, suspect that I would find my things tossed outside one day if I tell them too early.

+2 votes

OIf you have nothing in writing and don’t mind losing your deposit I’d advise you to say nothing at all. Show them as much consideration as they’ve showed you. After you’ve moved and secured all your belongings, then contact the sister to return her the keys. Just don’t give her your new address or even tell her where you’ve moved to. If she asks say it’s none of her business after how she treated you. 

by (89,960 points)
+2 votes

I would wait until you have all of your belongings packed and out of the house and not say anything just yet until that happens. Normally, I would say the respectful thing to do is to give them a heads up....but in this case with the way they are, I would say it is much safer for you to try to smoothly (without being noticable) get all your things moved out first, and then tell them. I wouldn't risk anything happening to me or my stuff because of two immature/irresponsible people.

 I do believe in having common courtesy, but in some situations you have to play it safe and smart rather than be sorry. I don't know these people personally, obviously, but by what you are sounds like at least one or both of them is bound to be spiteful and immature about the situation. 

The only relatable experience I've had with this situation is from a guy I used to date (we'll call him M). M was paying rent to this guy who owned a condo (but didn't live there). M lived there with another guy who had already been renting one of the rooms. I forget all the specific details, but basically M did not sign a lease or contract of any kind, but gave a deposit originally and lived at the condo for about 7 months when he finally decided to move out to a different place. M also ended up becoming friends with the other guy who also lived there, and the roommate ended up revealing to M what he was paying for his half of the rent, and M realized that he was paying almost double that because the guy who owned the condo kind of duped M to cover his own expenses from when he left originally to move out with his girlfriend. When M realized this, he found another place and respectfully told the guy that owned the condo that he would be moving out, the guy went crazy on him and started threatening him over the phone and he told M that he better have all of his stuff out or else...luckily M already did, and M was able to basically tell him to eff off. About a couple months later, M and I were going to see a Christmas light display and we ended up walking right past that landlord and luckily he did not see us. He was a very aggressive Russian guy. Point being, you have to be careful because people are crazy. 

by (189,910 points)
+4 votes

I agree with everyone. I wouldn't say a word. I would tell them I'm moving as me and my friends are taking my stuff to the car. And not before. If they aren't home when you move, just leave the key and a note on the counter saying it's been fun but I've moved out. 

Oh...forward your mail NOW. Once you're gone they may get petty and you may not get your mail. It may get "lost" a lot.

by (478,180 points)
+3 votes

If you have no signed lease agreement in writing, then the most you'll lose is maybe the deposit. You're not obligated to give them a damn thing but the keys back. 

Pack it up and get it out of there. 

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

by (1,254,290 points)
+1 vote

Thank you all for the answers. I didn't want to flood every answer with a comment, so I decided to take this route to thank you all. I've already made my change of address with my mail and I've bundled all of my clothes in my room and my electronics in the garage (I'm acting like I'm selling them.) It's only one more day until the big move, so I'm hoping to do everything in one, single trip and I'm leaving the key in plain sight, which should be a strong indicator of what happened.

by (9,670 points)

Good luck! Enjoy your new home. And don't forget to invite us for the house warming :) 


Will do!!! :) I can't wait haha.


I hope it all went well!

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