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+6 votes
46 views
The person I was with for 8 years left me for another woman who is now 8 months pregnant. He took the cowards way out and didn't face me to tell me. 

I'm not just heartbroken by the loss, but the way it was done. We have a child together and he has not been checking on our child.  I haven't pestered him but I have messaged him and he reads and doesn't respond. This is so far from the person iveIcome to know over the years 

I jusr really need to talk and vent with someone. 
in Relationships by (490 points)

4 Answers

+4 votes

Break ups are hard but not terminal, it's a process you will go through. Ask yourself this, after what he has done, would you really take him back? Also remember that one day you will be over him but what you'll never get over is the way you behave right now. 

When my first husband walked in one lunch time and told me he was leaving, right there, right then, I wanted to get on my knees, grab his legs and beg him not to go, but something inside me knew that I would  get over him but I'd never get over me acting like that.

The other danger you need to avoid is using your child as a weapon, remember always that you love your child more than you hate him. Apply for child support and do it through the courts, let them do the "nasty" stuff.

You will get through this and come out the other end  He is a cheater so you will feel bad for 6 month to a year, but take a cheater back and you will feel bad for a lifetime. You will have many more happy years without him than with him 

Good luck and remember you are in a temporary situation.


We have met the enemy and he is us.

by (2,517,530 points)
+1

Thank you. Hopefully he does come to his senses and sees about our son. I don't want him back it just hurts the way this was done

+2 votes

Wow, that is a very hard situation to be in. I am so sorry this is happening to you. A lot of the time, in life, people turn out to be different than what we expected.

I, too, went through a really hard break up about 7 months ago. To make a long story short, I was engaged to a man. We had the whole wedding paid for and planned out, when unexpectedly one day he admitted to me that he had went to an Asian massage parlor and cheated with a prostitute (I later found out it happened way more times than I knew of, which did not surprise me at that point.) I took some time to myself and eventually decided to call off the wedding and dump him. After that, he ended up also admitting to me that he also is into men and is bisexual. I was lied to about who he was, and felt like I never knew him at all...because I didn't.


This past 7 months has been the hardest time of my life. As I am sure, the months following will be very difficult for you as well. The satisfying part is knowing that you will no longer have to worry about any STDs you can get from him being a cheater, you won't have to worry where he is or who he's with because it won't be you who he is playing anymore, and just knowing that someone/something better awaits for you in the long run. 

You may not realize it now, but he has just made you much stronger than you yet realize. You will now be able to seek and find the love you will never get with him. You will, one day, be very happy that you have been freed of his selfishness and lack of a person that he is. You are right, he is a coward.

The most disheartening part about this, is the child involved. Your child. It is one thing to leave your partner, but to leave your child is the most cruel, heartless act of all time. I hope, for your child's sake, he ends up coming around to his senses. 

I know it is hard, but you will get through this. I wish you the very best. Stay strong.

by (166,000 points)
+1

Thank you. He is her problem now and he will probably do to her what he's done to me. I just want him to remember he has a child ro see about

0

From experience, he most likely will do to her what he did to you. I hope he stays in his child's life. There is no telling when dealing with a coward. You will be ok, but it will hurt for a while. 

+1 vote

Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationship the finding successful ones. You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.

by (1,930 points)
+1 vote

What an A-hole. I am so sorry. Sue him for child support so that he doesn't get away with not giving your child what your child is entitled to. He lacks integrity and may think he can shirk his responsibilities but he needs to be held accountable for your child. As for the relationship I know you must feel devastated, but in the end he showed his true character. Now you must focus on your child and yourself and do what you need to do to move forward. As for the other woman, he is no prize so he is her problem now and trust that he is such a huge disappointment that it is only a matter of time before he screws that up too. You deserve better and would never have been available to learn so being tied up with him. The way he went about this proves this has worked out in your favor in the long run. He is a disrespectful prick.

by (27,640 points)
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