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+3 votes

Met & dated an awesome guy 2 months. We spoke daily & saw each other multiple times a week. Amazing connection and chemistry; so much in common. We met so we can talk in person ab where this is going. He’s not ready for a relationship. He’s 6 mo separated from a terrible marriage & has 2 toddlers half time. I understand, been there. He said he really, really likes me I’m “gorgeous, fun, smart, loves to be around me” & the girl of his dreams could be right in front of him but he wouldn’t be ready. I’ve been divorced over a year ago & been trying to focus on a new career, and wasn’t looking to be in a relationship until I found him. He’d like to see me still, but up to me bc he doesn’t want to hurt me or hold me back. I said let’s still see each other but stop if I become uncomfortable. I’m bummed! We don’t talk daily anymore. 2x in last week and a half. I initiated last so I’m giving him his space to go through what he has to go through. But how can he say he really likes me but not want to talk more like we used to? Guys are confusing. Any advice on where his head is? I wait for no one, but would be nice to get together in the future. Anyone experience this? I was given an awesome guy & he’s taken away now.  I know, let it go, focus on me, date others; easier said than done. 

in Dating by (150 points)

5 Answers

+2 votes

I'd listen to him. He's. Not. Ready. 

he's freshly divorced and sounds like he's got his hands full with two toddlers. yeah it sucks but oh well; the timing is not right.

by (519,310 points)
+1 vote

Listen to him, he is not ready.  Now do not press the issue, but keep in contact who knows.  AKA keep it fun and light

“Better a true enemy than a false friend.”

by (2,959,250 points)
+1 vote

My honest opinion is, he is separated 6 months. He shouldnt even think about dating, and Im not sure if its even legal to date while you're separated. Even then I'll tell you why its not a good idea. When separation or divorce happens to a person, they grieve similarly to when a person dies. It's a great change and that causes much stress. To add on the stress of dating someone new is really not good for him, especially when its compounded by the fact he has young children.

 So my recommendation is either find someone else, or be prepared to wait it out for a while, if this is what you want. Hes going to need plenty of time to heal from this drastic life change. 

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.       -Socrates

by (783,040 points)
+1 vote

What others have said is right on.  But something else to think about:  with all he has going on, meeting someone new was a refreshing break for him.  Maybe he's realized some things and needs to get some priorities in order = needs space.

This is likely temporary, but don't crowd him in the interim.

by (111,230 points)
0 votes

I think he realized that he needs time and space for now. I would not wait, if I were you. He told you what you needed to know, he is not ready. At least he was honest and upfront and told you, rather than stringing you along. He is trying to slowly distance himself from you without being rude. Listen to what he has told you. 

I know that it sucks, especially when you find someone you have a real connection with and someone you really like. Dating is not easy for anyone. It is a lot of finding mr. Wrongs until you finally find mr. RIGHT. Your time will come with the right person and the right circumstances. This guy is not the one for you, it happens to us all. Is happening to me currently, as well. It does suck, but nothing else you can do. 

by (189,010 points)
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