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+2 votes

My boss and my co-worker have an extremely close relationship, that goes beyond professional. It has become very uncomfortable for many of us at work. They go to lunch together almost daily, she follows him every where he goes in the building and hangs out in his office. He comes over to her desk rubs her shoulders, they often stand with their arms around each other and make inappropriate comments towards each other. We have all at some point or another witnessed inappropriate touching and comments between the two of them, it is very uncomfortable to us all.  She dresses very skimpy almost daily, we have all at some point seen her underwear.  Honestly it sometimes seems as though she is using her sexuality to get a way with doing whatever she wants at work, then again it could be more to it, really don't know and don't care. What matters is it's unprofessional and uncomfortable for all of us.   We don't know what if anything to do about it. We really like our boss and don't want him to get in trouble, it most of the time looks as though like she is the aggressor in the situation; however, he doesn't do much to stop it. Maybe he's uncomfortable and doesn't know how.  He is a really nice man.  Should we all just continue to ignore all of this?   or  Should we bring it to the attention of our HR department?     

in Career by (13,430 points)

6 Answers

+3 votes
Best answer

Of course this is an HR matter, but before you go to them make sure the rest of your colleagues are on board. Start a log from tomorrow and write down date and times of every incident for a week or two, then get your colleagues to sign their names to it..

Its amazing how many people will make the bullets and stand back and let others fire them, you dont want singles out and on the wrong side of your boss 

If you see me jogging, kill whatever is chasing me

by (2,676,660 points)
+2 votes
This is a matter for HR.

But be careful when filing complain. No matter what, it never really stays anonymous. 

by (347,100 points)
+1 vote

First, what exactly is your problem?  If it is her fault, he is not complaining.  If it is his fault, she doesn't seem to be complaining either, and she could.  

So lets explore some what ifs.  If it were two people in the office, equal level, crawling all over each other, pawing each other, etc, would anyone care except for the occasional prude who would be upset it they were outside on a park bench.

Do you care about it because it is a public display of attention, or because it is at work, or because she works for him.

Are you afraid she is screwing her way to the top or at least a good review?

Unprofessional is the companies problem.  Uncomfortable is your problem.

I had a boss once that was screwing his secretary.  He was caught doing her on the top of his desk.  The secretary was fired.  The lesson is that you might get your coworker fired, and piss off your boss but I don't think you will change much.  

Good luck.

by (1,424,570 points)

Good points all


I could care less what they do on their own time. I don't see that she is screwing her way to the top, being he is not the top boss, there's no where for her to move up to at this location. What does matter to me and nearly everyone else I work with is it makes everyone uncomfortable, because of how openly affectionate they are towards each other.  What's more we know his wife and her husband very well. I have considered the impact of going over their heads with this, which is why I am getting opinions here. 

Thank you


So, it is public displays of affection that makes you uncomfortable.  

Go tell HR that there are PDAs that make a lot of you uncomfortable and you think that there should be a company policy against it, since your and your co-workers, comfort is important to productivity, and it may reflect poorly on the professional image of the company.  You don't have to name anyone.  Just a general they.

Good luck with that.


Actually this doesn't fall into PDA. Professional environment. Almost most companies have existing policies for such issues. Unless it's privately owned small mom and pop shop type of company.

I do believe in comfortable work environment for all. 

But be careful because HR isn't always impartial. Depending upon the culture, size, influence, etc, it could bite back in short or long term. 

+1 vote
<Should we bring it to the attention of our HR department?  >
    How about someone, on behalf of the rest, bring it to their attention privately? I guess a few people, say 3, can speak to them sbout how uncomfortable it makes them feel when this happens in the office. 
   If this doesnt work, then speak to HR. But Im betting it will stop after the private talk. 

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.       -Socrates

by (817,470 points)
0 votes

Why is this important to you?  Leave it alone

“Better a true enemy than a false friend.”

by (2,978,140 points)
+1 vote

In my experience at the workplace you've always got to watch your back. Which means keeping your head down and just getting on with your job.

Life is what you make it.

by (3,905,151 points)
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