I’ve been seeing a man for a month now and so far he has been lovely, treats me with respect and hasn’t demonstrated any red flags or toxic behaviour. He told me before our first date that he has been single for three years after a committed relationship but hasn’t found the right person for him since, nobody who has touched his heart. This is also the case for me, I’ve struggled to find my match too but so far, he seems to complement my personality, interests and temperament. It’s going well and I’m excited!
But- after we had been dating for only 1 week, I received a message from a girl I barely know (we vaguely knew each other as teenagers 15 years ago) saying her friend had been begging her to contact me about him. She said she had figured out we were dating and who I was by looking at who he has recently started following on instagram and apparently she has seen me in the block of flats where they both live. She said she wanted to warn me off him as he “gets girls to like him then he leaves suddenly, saying he can’t force his feelings”. I don’t know why she didn’t contact me directly herself.
I immediately asked him to meet with me and we discussed it face to face. He said this girl was someone who he had seen on a casual, sexual only basis and he had broken it off with her a couple of weeks before his first date with me and she took it badly. He said he tried to go about things the decent way by telling her face to face that he didn’t want to continue.
I checked out her profile and she seems Emotionally unstable, writing about anxiety and depression, ranting obsessively about him to this day in a blog and posting strange incoherent poetry about how cruel he is basically. She also continues to upload abstract pics to Insta with abstract captions in his first language about how he’s empty hearted etc.
With me, he’s properly dating me. He’s taken me to lots of lovely places, we spend hours talking and we have loads of common interests that seem to be the main connection above even anything physical.
I’ve tried to put it out of my mind, choosing to form my own opinions on him based on how he treats Me. However it’s cast a negative over things as I find myself feeling a bit suspicious of him, wondering if he will do the same to me, if he really is this empty hearted guy that she describes. He seems very happy with me so far and has told me he enjoys my company and wants to continue getting to know me so my question is- what would you make of this and how would you proceed?