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+5 votes
80 views

Was talking to a guy for 6 months and we just slowly drifted apart.  Actually he became distant and I just quit being the first one to text him every night and it fizzled out.  We work together but have limited contact with one another and didn't really speak for 4 1/2 weeks.  We still follow one another on social media and randomly one night he started liking my posts--some from the previous week.  It was obvious he was going through my page. At work he was saying hi to me again and even asked me one afternoon what I was working on.  He randomly texted me one night asking me something about work which I was surprised that he knew as it was about a personal project I was going to be working on.  I responded but didn't elaborate as I would have before--only texting for a few minutes.  A few days later I messaged him an update to our conversation and we had an ongoing conversation.  He flirted.  Told me he thought I was "good looking".  I replied that I didn't think he still thought that.  He replied that he thought I was a "cute, hot sweetie".  I told him I thought he was attractive too but that I needed him to know that I don't play games.  I told him this because I didn't want him to play with my emotions.  Now he is back to barely making eye contact and feeling like he is avoiding me.  

This was 2 weeks ago and I need to understand what went wrong.  He obviously was having a moment when he started getting back in contact with me.  Did my telling him I don't play games push him away?  I am having a really hard time getting over him and this feels like it reopened that wound.  I really need an outside perspective.  Help!        

in Relationships by (400 points)

4 Answers

+1 vote

Work relationships are tricky for this exact reason. Imagine how you would feel if you two became intimate and he went :poof:

He showed his true colors when you mentioned “game playing”

You dodged a bullet with that one!


The Leftists have left us!

by (735,700 points)
+1 vote

I've known people have relationships at work and it works. I've also known the relationship at work go seriously pear-shaped as if things get nasty you have nowhere to go other than get another job. I wouldn't take the risk.


Life is what you make it.

by (3,836,461 points)
+1 vote

When you told him that you didn't play games I believe that he was thinking you wanted a serious relationship. We all know that is an instant turn off. Usually, especially at first.

As far as having a workplace relationship, it can most surely survive and thrive. You just need to be mature enough.


I know what I have given you. I do not know what you have received. ~Antonio Porchia

by (427,710 points)
+1 vote

Work relationships are dangerous for oh so many reasons.  Here is my take on your situation. 

Your are probably dealing with a wannabe player.  He disappeared for awhile for the 4 weeks because he found another object of his affection.  This probably went South because the guy is a jerk or he got what he wanted.  You were probably seen as a backup or possibly item.

Somewhere in the conversation you scared him off or represented a threat to continued employment.  Whatever the reason leave this opportunity alone because it has no legs.  The only reason to continue is if you are interested in casual sex for the short term

Good luck


“Better a true enemy than a false friend.”

by (2,831,740 points)
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