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+3 votes

I work for SVU. 

I guarantee you it's NOTHING like the TV show. 

However, one common trend is how (usually) women will unfortunately protect their abuser by saying "I don't want to ruin his life". They seem to be oblivious to the fact that they didn't take them into the same type of such before beating their ass. 

It's crazy to me, yet the reality is this is a trend of scared victims.

Have you ever known of someone who was in a similar situation? 

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

in Daily Life by (1,168,410 points)

6 Answers

+1 vote

Yes. I've both been the person who has declined to press charges because it would have caused complications and I've seen other women do the same. Last year my husband picked his sister and nephew up in the middle of the night because her boyfriend was on a drunken rampage, I photographed the hand print shaped bruises on her chest as evidence when we called the police. She ended up dropping the charges and refused to take out a DVPO because it would have harmed his custody claim for his son. They are back together again. 

I see it at work too, I work for a family law firm and we handle both the prosecution and defense of DVPOs. I've had clients whom have come in and their stress and fear is written all over them. We've had clients whom have dropped the protective orders because "he's a good guy and we are going to work on our family".  On the other hand we've also had several cases of malicious prosecution. 

by (675,670 points)

It's tragic and unfortunate when they go unpunished. The victim suffers more that way. 

0 votes

King I have seen it far to often in reality and a few times as a hyped up charge for revenge.  The victim most of the time was Female, a couple male believe it or not.

Had a couple of friends who worked Childrens Protective services in Minnesota.  The violence which my friends witnessed limited the length of time they took this job as a career and left the field.

Have a friend who for awhile was a prosecuting attorney, the case he had to prosecute were evil.  His Ex-wife was a Judge the cases she heard. These two never talk specifically to the cases before them, I only got to read about them in the paper and occasionally as a stree reliever cook dinnner for them and ask no questions

From what I can distill maybe a t best a quarter (1/4) of the cases were ever prosecuted.  The worst ones are where you know there is a body and you will never find so charges can never be filed.

Ugly dark seam across multiple cultural groups in multiple countries.  The ones which were infuriating were/are Honor Killings where the Perpetrator due to Cultural and National norms will never be prosecuted.

Yes I have seen and heard more than my fill

“Better a true enemy than a false friend.”

by (2,795,180 points)

Stone cultures brag about such exploits. 


King they do more than that.  The troubling thing is we have invited some inside our borders and they are perpetuating the violence against women and the hate in genral

+1 vote

In Scotland it's the police who decide to charge the offender and send the evidence to the Procurator fiscal who decides if it will go to trial. So the victim cannot stop charges. They could lie in court but they are warned about contempt charges beforehand.

I have worked with men in prison because of domestic violence and unfortunately there are those who still dont take responsibility and blame the victim.

No man has a  right to fix the boundary to the march of a Nation...

by (2,753,720 points)

They usually have been abused themselves and normalized it. 

+1 vote

I've seen documentaries on the subject of domestic abuse and women going to court. The system is against them. My next door neighbours friend also has a good friend that has had his entire life ruined by a controlling son. It's all very well to comment but it's a different thing when it's you in that situation. Just sayin'.

Life is what you make it.

by (3,691,251 points)
I find that even though stats show more women are truthful about it than otherwise, we live in a victim blaming society.
+1 vote

Several times in my career I witnessed kids protecting abusive parents.  

by (879,580 points)
0 votes

Yes... and it’s messed up.

I suffered sexual and horrific verbal and physical abuse growing up. If I complained or spoke out my extended family blew it off and said as if I had experienced what they did in their generation I wouldn’t complain. Guilt tripping the victim. I was withdrawn, scared and my grades reflected it. I couldn’t talk to teachers, counselors or family. This confusion led me to think I was a stupid whiner and led me to accept more shite from my then husband.

I later went to the University of Utah and ended up on the Dean’s list. I divorced him and went on excel in business management. I went to counseling which enabled me to cut thru all the previous gaslighting in my life.

The Leftists have left us!

by (671,320 points)
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