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+2 votes
49 views

I have just met a 30 year old girl online who is maybe what I thought a bit young and does not have the same life experience as me.....so my expectations of her were somewhat different after we got talking. After about an hour she asked about getting married. I was of course flattered and a bit dumbfounded perhaps beyond belief because all I have enjoyed up to this point in my life is a few plutonic relationships, the last one about 12years ago.......I know she is serious about this because thats what she kept on and on saying.....she does want me to make the same commitment but I am a little more reserved about this or at least trying to be because what man could not resist the temptation of a younger woman/girl. I just heard about Denis Quaid and his marriage to a 27year old.....How do I proceed and what should I be saying to her tomorrow perhaps. 

Cheers and thanks Anthony.

in Dating by (2,990 points)

7 Answers

+1 vote
 
Best answer

After an hour she wants to marry you?  I would be suspecious.  No other woman has seen the magic qualities in you, at all.

But the age difference is not that big of a deal.  All of your guy friends will be really jealous.  

My mother was ten years younger than my father.  I have a fringe relative whose wife is about 20 years younger than he is.  When he got married, people warned him that she would probably leave after 20 years.  He figured that 20 years of great sex with a younger woman would probably be  worth it.  Lol.  But they are still together.

There are some considerations, besides great sex.  In 20 years you will be retired.  She will be 50.  My relative wanted to travel and vacation, she had to work.  She knew he would die before her and needed to be prepared.  Children.  He was unable to have anymore.  They were not allowed to adopt.  They live in Germany.  He had to be willing to take over as homemaker while she went off to work.

But if thats what you want, go for it. 

by (1,423,310 points)
+3 votes

I think grown legal adults should date who they want, regardless of age. However a big age difference often means you have no common interests and a hugely different world-view, both of which can be obstacles for a successful relationship. 

But if you and this lady (30 = lady or woman, not girl) like each other and get along, good for you both. 

I don’t think it’s unusual for a 30 year old woman to ask whether or not marriage is your long-term goal, especially if it’s hers. It’s better for her to find out right away that you are not compatible in that way, than for her invest a lot of time and effort into someone who never plans to commit. 

The only thing I’d wonder about is whether she means marriage *right now* which is kind of quick - and weird - from someone you just met. 

Be honest with her. Whether you do have a goal of wedding bells, or you don’t want marriage in your future ever, with anyone, be straight with her. 

Good luck. 

by (2,298,930 points)
+3 votes

I've seen a lot of people say 10 year gap max for various reasons. However, either one of you could snuff it tomorrow and in that sense age is irrelevant. Just be realistic. And be prepared to tell people to mind their own business.


Life is what you make it.

by (3,836,981 points)
+3 votes

Anthony, 

   It is your own life and you owe no one any explanations. As long as the feelings are there of love, hope, caring and happiness with this woman, age should be of no importance. Should you both decide to have children is something you both need to discuss before you move ahead with any plans. 

   Good luck to you!.


The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.       -Socrates

by (908,690 points)
+1 vote

An hour in on-line and she's wanting a marriage commitment from you.   RUN!!!

by (924,990 points)
0 votes

It is your life, so live it in the style you want.  There is an age difference between my partner and myself - NBD.  She was the one who pursued me,  I glad I hung around it has been a great ride


“Better a true enemy than a false friend.”

by (2,831,740 points)
+1 vote
Do what makes you happy; but don't get mad when people mistake her for your daughter...that is, if she looks significantly better/younger than you. 

Are you sure she wasn't just asking your thoughts on marriage vs proposing to you? I do that and just the word "marriage" sometimes freaks guys out; when I'm just trying to pick their brain on what kinds of values they hold...if he's not traditional or doesn't believe in it, I don't bother taking him seriously.


by (19,190 points)
+1

That was my take on it. Just asking your date if they are open to marriage is perfectly reasonable IMO. It doesn’t necessarily mean “marry me right now.”  If you want to get married some day, why waste time dating someone who doesn’t? Especially if you’re 30. 

+1

Right..reason being is people make it a habit of not being up front with their intentions..women have less time to fuck around..nature dictates.

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