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+3 votes
23 views

How to kill someone

in Jokes by (1,180 points)

6 Answers

+1 vote

Guns seem very popular. If they won't let you have a gun, try a knife just not so effective.

by (3,902,671 points)
+1 vote

You know, asking how to kill someone or telling us of your intentions is a crime. To say I'm going to kill --- is a crime punishable by law. 

by (947,860 points)
+1 vote

I had to write an English paper in high school about a “perfect murder” mystery.  My killer waited until her victim was on a stairway, then she bashed him on the head with a frozen leg of lamb. She cooked the lamb to get rid of the murder weapon and the victim’s injuries and death were attributed to falling down the stairs. 

by (2,357,450 points)
+1

That's pretty good.  Very imaginative.  I am impressed.  And glad that the wife doesn't lke lamb.  Lol

+1 vote

Depends on where you are.  In the US, shooting is very popular but it leaves evidence.  Bullet fragments, empty casings, etc.  Knives work well, but you have to be close and there is always the chance that the intended victim will take it away from you and use it on you.  You have to know what you are doing.

Poison seems good.  You can do it over time or get some of that good stuff the russians are using.

Run over them with the car.  The AG in south Dakota tried that recently.  Claimed that he hit a deer.  But it might damage your car.  Best to steal one for the occasion.  You want an older, big, heavy one.  Disable the air bags, they might kill you when they deploy.

by (1,460,330 points)
+1 vote

Tell them enough of your hilarious "jokes" so that they die laughing.

by (756,620 points)
+1 vote

Keep up with your sorry, not sorry jokes and that’ll be the weapon.

I’ll be the victim. You’re killing me.

Where to put the body? In my wheelchair. No one will notice. Handicapped people are a pariah and are spoken towards their general direction not spoken to.

by (752,410 points)
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