I am writing my story here because I have no close friends to share with and I would like to get outside perspective on this. The real question is in the 2nd paragraph. But a little background here -I have been married for more than 5 years. For most of these years, I have experienced emotional neglect by my spouse. He does not want to hear if something bad happens with me and I need somebody for support. He does not want to hear if something good happens with me and I want to share. He does not want me to talk when he is eating, relaxing, working, taking a break from work, driving, or getting ready for sleep. If he does grant me a few minutes to speak, he remains glued to his phone screen throughout and when I am finished speaking says “ok” without looking up. This includes the times when I have something important and meaningful to share. He finds a way to punch holes in my happy cloud if I have something happy to share. I am a small artist of sorts and if I want to show him my creations, he has no interest or time for it. If I want us to spend time together, it feels like I have to ask him for an appointment and it always has to be an activity of his choice. And even if we have set this time for us to spend together, he doesn’t want to talk with me meaningfully, or let me show him my creations. His expressions change sharply. Condescension and devaluing my interests or thoughts is common.
Anyway, recently, he complained about me giving him his breakfast late. So, the next day, I gave him his breakfast early. To this he commented sarcastically about how I normally give him breakfast at 2 pm..which is way overexaggerated. I tried to explain to him why it gets late sometimes, to which he continued to comment sarcastically, briefly, and then ignored me completely, all the while glued to his computer screen. Now, looking back, there was no need for me to explain anything, because he is a grown man and can get his own breakfast when he wants it. But at that time, I was feeling really bad, like I had failed him, and was desperately trying to explain. Its common for him to condescend or say something sarcastic, belittling and to ignore me or dismiss my concerns. I am tired of it. This time, I got indignant, and swiveled his chair around to make him look at me. This action put him in a rage and he got up from the chair with a menacing look, grew tall, expanded his chest and advanced towards me with angry words. I was in shock. We were physically very close and the 2nd step he took towards me (still with menacing look) sent me crashing onto chairs and boxes behind me. I got up and left for the sake of my safety. But it has been a few days since then and he has not apologized and has not shown any sign of remorse. I am talking with him only when necessary and keeping it as short as possible. (I still reminded him by text about some documents that were due for his parents to submit). He on the other hand acts as if everything is normal, nothing ever happened.
Frankly, I don’t know what to do. I personally think it is unacceptable to threaten your spouse with show of superior physical strength for any reason. I can never knowingly or unknowingly bring myself to slap anyone, and if somebody fell crashing onto chairs and boxes because of me, I would instantly apologize and help them get up and try to make sure they were ok. But my spouse is acting as if everything is normal.
Any advice and thoughts would be welcome.