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+2 votes
95 views
My lesbian ex forced my current girlfriend to date me just to get out of the guilt of using me and hiding her sexual preference from me for 3years. M

girlfriend then took pity on me and gave me a chance, who then was recovering from a 6 year old relationship. She told me that she choose me to make me better and also to make her feel better. We were planning to get married, then I came to know about her ex and the length he went to care for her. Now whenever I do anything special for her I find out that her ex used to do the same things for her. So it isn't that special for her anymore. I don't know how  to process the information .I feel like I'm just a rebound for her. And the only reason why she's in a relationship with me is because she was forced and she was trying to get over her ex...as we started dating only after 6-7months of her breakup.
in Dating by (210 points)

3 Answers

+3 votes

I would talked to her about how you feel by stating how bringing up her ex is uncomfortable for you. Explain you DON'T want the focus on him but on your relationship with her. See how it goes after that conversation. If after you take this first step by having an open conversation, if she continues to bring him up, then it's quite clear she is not over him.

by (54,310 points)
+1

Forgot to add please update after your talk with her.

0

Well, she goes silent and becomes  upset whenever  It to talk about her past relationship and how that's affecting us. Maybe it's just traumatic for her to think about the past. Idk

+1

Maybe her past is traumatic. But, you won't know until you have that meaningful talk. So, instead of you bring it up, talk to her the next time she brings up the subject about her ex, or any other past relationships. You'll both will be better off for it. Having an open deep connection and respect is a must in a relationship. It's the only way for it to be healthy and to last long term. Ultimately, it's all up to you on what you do with the advice given. Resistance to good advice is not the answer.

+3 votes

Sounds like the relationship exists for all the wrong reasons. You can continue but I'm guessing your gf being forced and on the rebound is always going to be in the back of your mind. And the comment about her giving you a chance is patronizing.

by (4,075,441 points)
+1

Good answer!

0
Eh ...idk man...I'm a sucker for affection with a very low self-esteem. I've never been loved. So, even if it's a lie or whatever I just wanna hold on to her. Because I love her. I loved without knowing that she was forced to talk to me. Without knowing about her past. And I just don't wanna give that up. Cause she's the best thing that ever happened to me. 
+2 votes

What Blue said. 

by (2,463,720 points)
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