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0 votes

I’m thinking it’s because of my weight gain. Cuz I so totally loveeeee this person!

in Married Life by (660 points)

7 Answers

+1 vote

I can't really answer your question 'cause I've always desired sex.  I can tell you from having been on the other end of this equation that having your partner no longer interested in sex is hard to understand, accept, and kind of a death blow to the relationship.  If you love him and he loves you, a little weight gain sure shouldn't interfere with your desire to express it physically.  

by (1,014,560 points)

Yes I know that’s why I make myself in order to keep him bc I really do love this person and don’t want him to think I don’t want him bc it’s really not like that it’s truly my weight gain it made me extremely lazy!

0 votes

It means you got married.

by (4,305,761 points)

Yes but so what I still love them and always think of him and always can’t wait to see him it’s not like that I think it’s my 100lbs of weight gain no?


I think I remember you from the old answerogy!


Are you a doctor?

0 votes

Sounds like you are married.  

by (1,626,610 points)

I really think it’s just bc I’ve gotten lazy bc see above lol


Idk.  I was afraid to answer.  I thought you might have been my wife.  Lol.  

It isn't because you are fat.  A guy will be perfectly happy having sex with a fat woman that he loves.

I thought that it was my technique or lack of it when the wife gave up sex.  But after lots of study on my part, she had no interest in learning or helping, I determined that she just didn't like the male body.  At least mine.  I tried to bargain with her.   She didn't need to actually have sex, no fucking or sucking, if she would just help me masturbate.  But no.  It actually took too much work.

Which bring us to lazy.  You know that you don't actually have to do much.  Just lay there and spread your legs.  I bet that you could sleep through it and he would be happy.  Lazy is just a cover story for not wanting to make the guy happy.

I have determined that my wife really hates me.

0 votes

Maybe the weight you've gained is the excuse you've made for yourself to avoid the more difficult question about your underlying intimacy issues. Sounds more like your own issues rather than issues about how you feel about your partner. Either way, it's harmful to the relationship and not fair to your partner the longer this goes on.

by (79,390 points)

Yeah probably means you arent attracted in that way anymore, attraction is a natural thing you cannot control it.

0 votes

Ask yourself from a personal point of view, pretend you dont know your partner and then ask yourself if I didnt know them and saw them in a bar would you be attracted to them? Would you ask them for a dance?

by (4,400 points)
+2 votes

It sounds like you lost interest in sex, and gained contentment. You've become comfortable with just having casual intimacy in your relationship. In other words having the same type of closeness as in a loving friendship. Many people feel this way for several reasons. So, yes, you can feel love without sex, it's called contentment as said.  I'm wondering though if you have any sexual drive/feelings at all? Are there times where you go it alone due to a sudden urge of desire??  If you do then go to your man when that happens. Most men won't turn their women down. If he's doesn't know how to satisfy you the way you like then teach him. Weight gain definitely can make people lazy. They lose their confidence and libido too, as in your case. Exercise and weight loss can increase it. Since you recognize the problem you have a choice to do something about it. Romance is the spice of life so don't give up on it too quickly. Just something to think about. No pressure!

by (414,270 points)
0 votes

Exercise and portion control. That sex drive will be right back, trust and believe.... if it's just weight issues. Anything beyond that should be properly evaluated. 

by (1,234,560 points)
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