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+5 votes

Good day, Hope you all are well.

So I am dating this guy, or well I don't really know now anymore what we are. I am so confused and looking for help and answers. My heart is broken and I don't know what to think of relationships anymore.

So this guy works away. While he was here, we've been fighting a lot. I felt like second best but I have a low self esteem. So while he was here and stayed with me, I am never allowed to see who is texting him. He says all relationships end that way. So this one time he was texting this girl, and I knew it, so I kept asking what she says and we were fighting until finally he showed me. I realized he deleted most of the messages, because she sent a blush face that wasn't there anymore. He said he was planning to meet up with her, but he knew I'd go crazy, that's why he deleted it. 

So I am not quite over that, so he told me to not freak out while he was at work. So calmly the one day I just asked him if we can post our relationship on Facebook, he got angry, but he did it, so I felt a little more secure. 3 days later he started randomly telling me I pressured him into this relationship thing on fb?! :(

Like he is acting strange and whenever I state any of my feelings, he gets angry and it always end with me being sorry and feeling sad and thinking of what I could've done otherwise. 

So the one day, he said to me that he saw that I took off my relationship status on Fb, but it's fine cause he took his off also:( ....I never took it off, and then a bomb went off. I think my Fb was hacked, and for some reason I think he wanted to fool people. 

So now we broke up, but he says he still wants to get back together and he loves me. That I made a big scene over nothing, he will put his status up again and I should stop being so insecure. I feel stupid, I feel numb. I don't know what's going on. It's like I feel crazy, over something so stupid as Fb. So childish. But what can I do? 

I haven't heard from him in 3days now, while we spoke everyday, should I text him?

because I don't know what to really say, he wants me to make it up and say sorry to him and love him. 

My mind is going crazy over here. Because maybe he'll just take advantage again. He had some good parts in him, but I just feel like I am always the one crawling back, like he rarely ever apologise. I want him to reach out to me, but what if he never does:(

Any advice please. 

in Relationships by (150 points)

7 Answers

+2 votes

Sorry you are having such a tough time.  I'll keep my suggestion short.  I think you should move on from this one. Sounds a bit manipulative and sounds like he doesn't have any interest in being in a relationship. At least not one that's lacking in extracurricular activity. 

by (15,090 points)
+4 votes

Sounds like there is no trust. And when you don't have that, it's over.

by (4,075,441 points)

Blue, you have it in a nutshell

+2 votes

I think that any man you are with who texts another girl, and admits he is planning to see her, (unless it is a platonic relationship), is not someone you should be with. He sounds secretive and manipulative, and doesn't seem to care for your feelings. He gets angry easily and plays games on Facebook, so he sounds immature as well. Walk away from him and find someone who respects you and loves you.

by (1,102,560 points)
+3 votes
My opinion is that his behavior is not about you but about his own insecurities. I personally would NOT go back for more. I would forgive him, wish him well, then quickly move on from his player ways, and manipulation. One text usually leads to another, so I don't believe texting is the way to go, unless you can keep it to one text. Players always think they're are winning, when in reality they are not. They just end up doing more of the same useless behavior(s).

I realize too giving you advice is the easy part here. For you must do the work. Sincerely, here's wishing you the courage, and the strength to recognize your own worth so you can (at some  point) move on to a more comfortable relationship.
by (115,130 points)
+2 votes

I think all the other advice here is solid. It's easier said than done, but I truly don't think anything good will come from you reaching back out to him. I know you miss him and wish things could be better, but the best predictor of future performance is past behavior, and his past behavior is downright awful. He doesn't seem to make any room for your feelings, you're just around for his feelings and when his feelings aren't great he projects them onto you like they're your problem rather than his. So not only in his world are you solely responsible for all of your own needs, you're also responsible for meeting his needs. That's not a balanced relationship, and you texting him is not going to get him to magically realize he needs to be a better partner and be more attentive to your feelings and needs, so you're more likely going to find yourself back in this situation or worse if you keep in contact with him. I think his insecurity feeds into your insecurity and you deserve someone who helps you feel MORE secure in yourself, not less.

by (16,090 points)
+1 vote

You should text him.  Say " it is over looser, i don't want you to ever darken my door again.  Go fuck yourself". And never respond to him again.  To prevent yourself from going down that road again, it is best to burn the bridge.

by (1,554,070 points)
0 votes
Move on and never look back
by (1,580 points)
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