I've never spoken a word about what I am about to post to anyone.
I don't really have someone who I feel that I would share this with. I did a year of therapy for another issue for quite some time and just next shared so here goes.
I had some issues with myself that I had dealt with for some time due to me being very large.
A couple years prior I had weight loss surgery and even though I was half my size it still haunted me.
Due to combination of meds and and weight honestly had issues getting it up.
I was embarrassed and never mentioned to my wife. I was ashamed to let her see me in any state of undress. We hadn't had sex for year / years
I had this come to jesus moment and realized I needed help for not only myself but due to this my wife infant had been neglected intimacy wise for quite some time.
She denied she felt this way but u just knew in my soul it was not the case.
I started counseling and worked on my main issue and felt with that I also learn how to be better husband to my wife the one she deserved.
I knew this whole mess didn't start over night and knew it would take my wife time to see my changes and start having the true feelings for me again.
A month or two in we took a much needed vacation to get away and I looked at it as fresh start.
We had a great time and I thought it was a great reboot. A couple days in my wife did some major drinking and she was drunk.
Relaxing in our room she showed me some videos and stuff on her phone from Facebook and IG. Well while watching them I noticed some pop ups notifications for KIK. At the time I didn't really know what KIK was.
I didn't say anything but at one point she knocked out and here I am with her phone unlocked.
I go look at these KIK messages and she she had several conversations with guys and many were sexual. She even sent a guy pics of our trip going on vacation and said she wished he was with her.
I also saw text messages from a guy and it appeared she had been seeing somebody.
Reading through some other messages a few of her friends knew about it and she had even been looking at apartments and housing to rent months before this all unknown to me.
Also she had accounts to a couple marriage hook up cheating time of websites
This took my breath away and hurt so bad! I cried , almost pulled , got mad but then I felt as though I deserved this due to my neglecting her needs
I used this as motivation to be the man my wife deserved and changed my entire life I felt. Despite all this info I discovered I loved my wife so much and would Not give up.
Over the past year I changed for the better and really felt my wife has been seeing me in a different light and loved me.
A few weeks back we went out on a date night the middle of the week and we had A great time.
She had showed me a photo on her apple watch that a friend sent. A little while later I noticed a photo was showing and it was a guy that I didn't recognize.
I made a comment about something on her apple watch and she quickly closed it out she pulled sleeve down over watch.
I acted as though nothing happened and continued but due to same i went to detective mode.
She always kept her phone locked but just so happed I saw her type in pin number and later on when phone left unattended I spied and made a discovery.
She has a highly sexual text message thing going back and forth with some dude Out of state.
As far As I can tell this has been going on for most of the past year. From what I can tell they have never met but they exchange pics and sexual things.
I copied this guy's number and have sent any mouse text To stop texting wife and also voice mail. He doesn't answer phone but I think I put a stop to it on his end.
Now my question is what do I do from here?
If you have made it This far thank you for reading. It feels good to finally write out and share