I don’t know if I can trust my wife

Question

She’s been the most amazing woman in my life . I just can’t even however get over the fact that she was going out with a guy for 4 years yet she still cheated on him so the his best friend . Worst part is ( which I recently found out ) that she was the one who asked the friend out. A lot of ecstasy was involved and the bf was mostly busy as a dj but I always thought she was enticed by the friend . Turns out it was her who asked him fast forward the friend took the ppp and slept with her several months abs left . Then I came in and fell in love with her. 

She has been amazing with me but I can’t get over this . We tried talking about it but it doesn’t end pleasant . What should I do ? Once a Chester always a cheater ? 

Answer 1

You should have resolved this issue before you married her.

Her actions at that time were emotional and perhaps not logical. No amount of interrogation by you will make those actions and reactions by her will seem logical to you now.

No once a cheater is not always the case. However cheaters many times feel shut down in the relationship and communication become limited and difficult. I am no way condoning cheating but this is my observations from friends.

If you continually doubt her your marriage will not be happy for either of you.

Answer 2

I'd be more concerned about the fact that she dated a DJ.

Comments

Now THAT's just not right...   :-p

Answer 3

Let me see if I understand... she cheated on your for four years... cheated on the guy she was cheating with also... takes and hands out drugs...

And you say she is "amazing with me."  ::smh::  If she has done all of this---and you say she has--and you're still with her--and you are---then I have to say you may actually deserve each other.  She cheats, you turn a blind eye, and your opinion of her is still high... 

As the judge said to the condemned man... More Power to You.

Answer 4

These things happen when a lot of drugs are involved. Don't worry about it.

Answer 5

I wouldn't be as concerned about the cheating aspect as I would be about why it took so long for you to find out that she was the instigator of the cheating. Has she deliberately held this information from you, or was it something she thought you had known all along but was a misunderstanding? Also, if she has never in your actual relationship given you any reason to think that she would cheat, and you've talked about it but you still have your misgivings, then it sounds like something YOU need to explore within yourself. Of course no one wants to be with someone who would cheat, but just knowing that she did it to someone else in the past does not mean that she is necessarily more likely to do it to you. So explore what it is about your relationship with her - not her actions BEFORE your relationship - that give you reason to believe that she would possibly cheat (either now or in the future), and see whether that actually leads you somewhere legitimate or if it's an unfounded fear. If it's legitimate, then you should be discussing it with her and hopefully finding a solution together. If it's unfounded, then for the sake of your relationship you gotta work to get past it, because otherwise it's just your mentality that is souring the relationship, not her actions before she was ever with you.