I got in a Argument/Fight in Caffe Nero on Monday. Have I done anything wrong?

Question

I came home for the summer on the weekend and having been stuck in all weekend! I went for some "retail" therapy with my friend on Monday. We went for a coffee at lunch, we were in the queue when I noticed my Ex Boyfriends new "Girlfriend" sat down. So having got our orders we sit down, and among chatting away I just felt the glare from opposite me! I asked her what her problem was? To which she rolled her eyes at me which annoyed me. So I went over to her table where she was sat on her tod. (The most stuck up person ever) Asked her again to which she replied "You going round calling me a slapper and a relationship wrecker" to which I told her that was true she then told me "Its not my fault hes upgraded" I then told her "Amy Farrah Fowler" get back on big bang theory (Identical glasses ngl).

Shen stands up, calls me a "Tacky Wotsit" So I pushed her and as I went to walk back towards my table she grabbed my arm and spun me back round and pushed a "Lemon Sicilian Cheesecake" in my face. Before she swiftly walked off, customers and staff were no real help or use. I was offered a single tissue from an elderly woman. My friend was amused more than annoyed like she should have been and im still annoyed with her for being amused and not helping. 

Am I right to be super pissed off with my friend ? and Did I do anything wrong in what I said? I feel I had a right to ask her what her problem was! Especially when she was looking at me first.

Answer 1

I would recommend relaxation. Deep breathing and calming music.

Comments

Hahaha I am trying! But I just get super annoyed over bs like this. But I have my Indie tunes blasting while I am off, but still super annoyed truth be told. 

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Excellent advice, Blue! Lol!

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Thanks Sandy. The OP is a character.

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Tbf I am the most chilled person in the world 95% of the time but I lose it 0-10 very quick. Even more so, when I see Amy off the Big Bang theory giving it large. 

Answer 2

Honestly I can't blame your friend because I would have been amused as well watching your drama unfold in such theatrical fashion. As far as the situation with the new hot girlfriend (calling her Amy Farrah Fowler was a compliment) you were both in the wrong. 

Comments

I do blame her because she should have helped and not laughed, and should have helped me rather than staying sat on her arse. I do not understand what is "Theatrical" about asking somebody what there issue is? I made a statement of fact with the Amy from Big Bang comparison she was the one making false statements. My face was covered, wasnt a laughing matter especially for a friend either. 

Answer 3

If you don't mind I'll tell it like it is in layman's terms. Your first mistake was going over to her and saying something. Second mistake was putting your hands on her by pushing her. If pursued, you could be charged with Battery. Third mistake is two-fold; turning your back on her thinking she would not retaliate some how, and finally not enjoying that lemon ricotta/cheesecake. (Kidding on that last note, of course).

I know it's a learning process but try to show class, by never downplaying your confidence. 

Comments

Excuse me!? Battery? You for real? I will respond to yourself in "laymens" terms. She started it by glaring at me and initiating something. I asked her what her issue was! She had the cocky comment so I pushed her with two hands she went back abit and I went to walk back to my table. And no I didnt given it was from my chin to forehead and half the cafe was laughing and people now deciding this was some sort of "fight" aswell as constant daily cake puns. 

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I truly didn't mean to upset you. The fact is, YOU can't put your hands on someone like you did. Plain and simple, YOU were the first to act. Sorry if you didn't like what I said, but that's my law degree talking. 

And! Yes! Battery! Don't worry no doubt it won't be pursued by the new girlfriend. Best to "just relax."

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Well she assaulted me also, I put my hands on her cos she provoked me

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You CANNOT push someone because they provoked you. Just because she insulted you or said something rude doesn’t mean you have the right to push her, or even touch her. However, if she hit you first, you may have a legal right to self defense and can hit them back. But that wasn't the case from your details.

Also, in your question you asked if you did anything wrong, so I told you what you did wrong. I don't agree with her provoking you either, but bottom  line you can't push her. You asked and I gave you the facts.

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Yeah I made first contact but what she did was worse, she asked for it and it was in retailiation to her words! I also dont think a court would A. Class it as a "Fight" B. Would probably rule i my favour on grounds what she did was worse. and C. How is it "self defense" when I had half turned to walk away! I mean what would they even call it?

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@1999- I see that you received professional advice and facts! Re-read them, instead of deflecting the point.

Answer 4

While being stared down by you ex’s new girlfriend may be infuriating.

Going to her table and starting a confrontation ending with you shoving her could be deemed and assault.

Her retaliating with Lemon cheesecake is also and assault.

You are both lucky the owner/ manager didn’t report you both to the police.

You both might have been charged and fined. Period.

Certainly you don’t want a police record, now do you?

Future employers look down on that sort of hi jinx!

In the future keep your hands to yourself. It’s not worth the trouble!

Your friend was probably flabbergasted, I know I would have been! Wow!

Answer 5

Hmmm a very familiar tale, where have I heard this before...

Comments

I was thinking the same thing. No ropes this time?

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Best answer right there, Belle. Custard Girls cousin, no? All this talk about laws and it’s a joke, no doubt. :D

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Care to fill me in on "Custard Girl?" Anyone???

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Dear Amy, 

Is it possible that we don't  know about Custard Girl and her joke, because we weren't members yet? 

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Okay, I found some of another member's very similar posts (from last summer):

https://www.answerologyreloaded.com/320098/argument-or-fight-or-nothing-sexism-i-think-so

https://www.answerologyreloaded.com/320069/daily-cake-jokes-annoying-not-the-only-person-have-fight-ffs

But, given even the custard references back then, I'm thinking this goes back even longer!!

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Thank you, Sapph1 for finding these and posting the links. That's very cool of you! I'm still interested in the Custard Girl one if you find it, since we were kind of spurn disdainfully because of the comparison. Also, can you explain why the above is seen as a joke? 

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Oh wow, okay I think I found the original. And, I have not had time to go through it all (and honestly I probably won't because it just seems like too much to search through - sounds like it would be better for someone else who actually lived through it to share a nice little recap for the rest of us), but here's what seems to be the first user and their first few questions that seems to have started it all:

https://www.answerologyreloaded.com/281817/ive-reflected-on-my-fight

https://www.answerologyreloaded.com/282022/should-i-try-to-get-revenge

https://www.answerologyreloaded.com/282037/result-mistakes-humiliated-finds-funny-dunked-custard-again

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Thank you again, Sapph1. Very fair of you not to disrespect those who didn't know because they weren't members then. My take now is that those who were members are thinking that it's he same person posting. It could be just a coincidence, too. Don't know?

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lol Of course it's the custard girl. She's a raving lunatic. And yeah. New members would not know. Obviously.

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Didn't know about this Custard Girl, Bluegenel. I appreciate the warning. All this custard talk is making want a custard twist cone! Lol!

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No problem Sam. There's a few on here that's worth knowing the history. But I'll respond to them anyway. It's all good at the end of the day.

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Sam, I didn't know about the first user, as I wasn't active on here prior to about a year ago (even though I had an account). I just used the Search function here on the site to see where this all might have originated from. But, I was around when the other user I shared posts from earlier on this thread was posting last summer, and when I saw this post from Amy1999 it all just sounded too familiar to be coincidental, at least to me! Clearly I'm not the only one...

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I understand. Obviously, we can only go on what we know from the time we become members. I appreciate your time, Sapph1 and your integrity Bluegenel. I was feeling dismissed for not know the history. At the end if the day, it's all good like you stated, Bluegenel. I'm sure you understand that I'm inerested in knowing if I'm being dupe or not so I know how to handle characters. Again, thank you both. I'm sure SandyGirl will appreciate it too on her next visit.

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Yeah. The problem is some people actually think like the OP. So she may well be serious.

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To Sam and "new" members.

If this is our custard girl I can say she is a lovely person, if I'm right she is young and occasionally comes on with some story that usually involves fighting. If you engage it can go on for some time as she loves to pick over every word and ask for explanations.

I have engaged before, now I just don't want to get into that Vietnam.

I woke up to the comments on my reply, I didn't see them before or I would have explained at the time.

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Thank you, Belle!

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Thank you, Blue!

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Thank you, Sapph!

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Belle and Sapph,

Thanks for explainging that to all the "new" people as well.  To the new people, we have a lot of other members who you don't know because you are new, after all.They will come as they sometimes drop by. No comments were meant to brush you off in any way!  :). Custard girl is most likely Amy1999, but we are not SURE. We simply thought she was her. I myself am still not sure it is her. 

   

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Thank you, Amy! 

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All 3 members that we think are custard girl live in the uk based on ip address. Given the majority on here are in the US and members in the UK are rare it's safe to assume they are the same person. Their style is also very similar which is first very notable.

If they had been in different countries or even different US states it would be different.

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IF I'm not mistaken, Custardgirl said she was from Australia.  If her IP is the same then we have an imposter. It's also noted that we have had many of those in the past. Especially The President. 

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I don't give a shit to be honest.

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That's obvious! 

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So what?

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Amy she said she was Australian but when I asked some questions and told her my son was there she then changed and I knew,she was UK, I'm not sure how I knew though. 

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I'll ask her to provide proof of passport and two utility bills within the last 3 months.

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No one would know better than the owner of this site, in my opinion. That would be, Blue. My experience is that some things are just better left unsaid. I've been guilty of that myself. Also, people that left these type sites who never came back don't personally care, because they obviously don't miss those that they left behind. Set them free, move on. I did the same on other like sites, thinking I had a better connection with many. It turned out I didn't. I remember them but eventually stopped missing them.  The ones who care will always show up, even have other means of contact. Thank you to those who did explain, though they did  in hindsight, about this person in question. It's now understood! In the beginning this was about helping someone who asked doe it. Can't blame those who tried to help when they did not know the back story. Wishing you all a nice day. 

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Belle, thanks for that. I had not seen your comments to her.  We havent seen her in a long time, so that may be her after all. Who else could come up with something as similar? 

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Smh

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Thanks for the kind words GlasgowBelle! I remmeber you from last time, thanks for your kind words. Yes I am the "custard" girl but as explained in my post today apart from that Custard incident infamously and getting in a altercation last week I am very well behaved an a Fully happy and logical person. I love banter and I hope you guys were entertained by my spin off series I did to my own real life fuck up (I.e Custard fight) a couple of years ago.