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+1 vote

So, my friend is still in the talking stage with this guy. They met one time before she had do leave for a month to do her practicals. They shared very personal stuff with each other during their meeting. He told her to make a bucket list and they both made one. She's been the first one he goes to when his down and stressed. They told each other they hope it lasts and that they do not want to lose each other. They only kissed and have not slept together. They've known each other for ± a month now. And they met through a match on hinge.

So, she wants to ask him how he feels about her without scaring him away. She wants to know whether he wants the same thing as her (to be with her like how she wants to be with him aka, a relationship). 

in Dating by (1,600 points)

2 Answers

0 votes

Anyone that unsure and unable to communicate needs to first discover her voice.  She must realize that the foundation of any relationship is honest communication.

If she asks, "What are you looking for in our relationship?  A good time?  Starting slow and seeing where life takes us?  A slam, bam, thank you ma'am romp?  A possible long-term relationship that might, if things progress over time, end in a commitment from each of us?"  ... then I'd say that's as good a start as any.  IF he is serious about her, he'll answer her questions.  If he's not all that serious but is perhaps a player, he might answer by saying, "Wow.  Those are interesting questions. How would YOU answer them?"   If he does that, then you can bet that he's only looking to shape HIS answers to fit into the ones SHE gives rather than giving his honest opinions.

Even if he isn't sure, he should attempt to make some serious connection through those answers.  THEN it will be her turn, and she needs to be equally frank, equally honest.

Playing games and waiting and trying to read each other's minds... that has disaster written all over it.  

by (899,260 points)
0 votes

Personally, I just go with the flow. And it's a loaded question. That a lot of people would just give the answer the other person is looking for. There should be enough evidence to know where the relationship is going if she is honest with herself. I would also say 1 month in is a bit early to start analysing.

by (4,256,451 points)
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