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+1 vote
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My fwb has been on dates with a girl at his university last year and I think he has feelings for her which he doesn't show. My fwb has the habit of going on dates and having sex very fast with multiple girls and he wanted the same with her. However, she didnt have sex with him and didnt chase him. This made him very mad but he continued to talk to her in person (she always kept talking to him even though she would stop texting him). He was always bitter but wouldnt let go.


2 days ago, he went to the cafe where they usually see each other and I was sitting there. I saw that he came in and stood by the door, looked around and left quickly. She wasnt there.


Then they met and he didnt even ask her about her housing situation. Instead I noticed that he was looking at her legs/V area while she was talking to him and then spoke to her and said he has to phone someone. When she left he shut the door to call someone.


Our uni has a free food stall outside campus which serves vegetarian indian food (the girl is from india) and he eats from there quite often. I thought he wouldnt like it but before both the girl and I asked him if he liked the food and he simply said yes he does.


However, yesterday she asked him while he was eating and he was like "i love it, i live off this food". When i heard it i was disgusted and went to ask him after she left and he said i love it , its delicious.


He also had a slight cold and the first natural thing he nentioned was ginger (she had told him once to drink hot teas with ginger) and then he proceeded to mention lemon, honey etc.


All the time he keeps looking at her calves/feet.


He doesnt like her right?

in Dating by (24,530 points)

3 Answers

0 votes

Are you crazy?

by (4,273,341 points)
0 votes

Evidently he likes looking at her. Well, her legs, V area and feet. And enough to hang around for a bit while he is eating.

by (918,020 points)
0

But he doesnt want her right?

0

Of course, he does! He’s a sexual addict. Surely you realize that by now! He wants her body! Why do you think he stares at her legs, V area and feet? You don’t suppose he is pondering what size jeans or shoes she wears? He is thinking about sex with her! And eventually getting her! He hasn’t given up on her yet or he would tell her to leave him alone.

Your circular thinking is really chronic Isabel. If you were sure he didn’t want her you wouldn’t come here every 3 days to seek validation for a variation of the same questions.

Face it he wants her or he would tell her he isn’t interested and has other interests?

0

What about this??


Our uni has a free food stall outside campus which serves vegetarian indian food (the girl is from india) and he eats from there quite often. I thought he wouldnt like it but before both the girl and I asked him if he liked the food and he simply said yes he does.


However, yesterday she asked him while he was eating and he was like "i love it, i live off this food". When i heard it i was disgusted and went to ask him after she left and he said i love it , its delicious.


He also had a slight cold and the first natural thing he nentioned was ginger (she had told him once to drink hot teas with ginger) and then he proceeded to mention lemon, honey etc.

0

Isabel.... if you are off medication that has been prescribed for you...get back on your medication.

0

No big puzzle here, if he has always liked Indian food.

However if he is consciously trying to manipulate her by being seen eating Indian food, then he is trying to show commonality to her culture Getting to know a girl is a lot more than just food preferences although it’s a good introduction.

What he may not know if she is Hindu, etc. If so they typically believe in virginity before marriage. If she is true to that faith , he can get as manipulative and bitter all he wants. He probably thinks most women are whores. So she might be difficult to figure out but he does definitely seem intrigued by her. Perhaps she wants to convert him?

No puzzle about lemon, honey and tea. Hot tea opens up the sinus passages. Lemon aids in thinning mucus and honey can soothe a sore throat. Ginger reduces inflammation. If he tried these he most likely got relief. Hasn’t  someone ever suggested a cough drop and you tried it. Colds can be long lasting and run the gamut between stuffed up sinuses, difficulty breathing and low grade fever with chills and night sweats!

Many of our cultures go back years and years before the invention of antibiotics and availability

Many older cultures like Eastern Indians and American Indians knew the power of herbs. Eastern Indians and Chinese cultures have and believe in herbal medicine. Even scientists are studying Amazon Rain Forest tribes looking for new cures from their native plants.

The reason behind “What does it mean” is you folks spend most of your time f—-ing and not talking about your core values. Is it any surprise you really don’t know each other?

0

She doesnt eat from there and he has never seen her eat from the stall. And shes had a bf before who was white so she deffo isnt a virgin cos she does wear pretty short dresses/slit skirts etc

He does eat from there and thats why i asked if he liked it and he told the same thing to me to that he loves it. I asked abiut why he mentioned ginger because earlier he was like honey, lemon. She told ginger and thats the first thing he mentioned.

I know he doesnt want a relationship with me but i just want to know if he wants from her? Cos he why go looking in the common room anf then leave when he saw she wasnt there?

He saw i was there but didnt come over or say hi. Instead he said hi to his other friends, looked around  and left

He was super stressed too until they talked and after that hes been fine but hasnt been replying to my texts 

0

Sounds like he definitely wants something from her. You are a sure thing. You evidently don’t make him wait for it. She could still be a virgin. Having short skirts or modern attire or having a boyfriend doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t a virgin. I did all of the above to try and fit in and didn’t sacrifice my virginity until years later.

If she is in a predominantly white uni she may have to pick the boy that likes her. She may not have a wide selection of Indian boys. 

Sadly, a number of white parents would still be against race mixing and college boys would know not to bring and Indian girl home. So she might be limited as to who she can date.

Her parents may be pressuring her to move back to their culture in India. They might not approve of her choices. Unless she tells you, you can’t just assume these presumptions as facts. That is how you end up on quiz street.  He obviously wants to be coincidentally where she might be. That way he saved his pride and not look like he’s chasing her. It’s called male pride. He may have had his heart seriously broken in another relationship making him gun shy of making any type of commitment?

You think you know these people without validation of your your preconceived ideas. What may be logical to your ethics and or morals may not apply to them!

My guess if you were to suggest a threesome to him made up of you him and another guy, he might not be so cooperative?

Befriend her, find out what you want to know. That way you can quit assuming? She sounds more talkative than him. 


0

As far as i heard her parents dont want her back home and she herself doesnt value her culture or values. I remember once she was telling off someone indian that shes not religious or traditional to her culture so they should stop forcing their views on her. The bf was also with her for 4 years and that guy was Jewish but white.

I dont know how they broke up.


Anyway what do you think he wants from her then? Just sex right?

I also saw that whenever its dark outside, he tends to keep his distance from her but during daylight hes fine with her being around him or touching him but during dark hours, hes avoiding eye contact and shifts far from her.

Whats this?

0

Well, perhaps he thinks that might rile up one of his fwbs you don’t know about. Perhaps they have the availability to watch his comings and goings. Maybe they like you ask him about this or that.

It must be difficult managing all his side chicks?

He evidently doesn’t like possessiveness in females? He avoids her in some settings and not in others. Sounds like is avoiding being spied upon?



0

No just during night and nobody knows about her except me as we go to same uni 

0

Anybody with eyes could watch this play out!

Maybe it’s you and your constant stalking and being where you think they are so far you aren’t too far away if you can actually hear their conversations. 

How do you know they aren’t meeting elsewhere or talking privately on the phone? You don’t and if you are only a side chick you aren’t entitled to know unless you both have agreed to transparency or monogamy!


0 votes

Yes FWB is your problem  

by (3,116,600 points)
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