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+2 votes

I’m back again…Over the last 5 years I’ve had a strong yet confusing and difficult “friendship” with someone that I got close with in college. From 2017-2020 I had classes with a guy that ended up being a very close friend of mine. During those three years we had almost all the same classes and that’s how we became so close. He was also friends with my twin brother which kind of started the friendship. To make a point known- I am gay and throughout all of college I didn’t tell anyone regardless if people had speculations during that time. My friend, let’s call him “Joe”, I thought either maybe knew that I was gay or was just oblivious. Well throughout college Joe had a girlfriend who he never seemed to hang around or talk about which I always thought was odd. I’ve had feelings for Joe ever since I’ve known him. I think it’s because of the flirty vibe he gave off. Always touching me, smiling at me when I wasn’t looking. The mirroring behavior was VERY obvious. In February of 2019 he told me he was bisexual but in a very jokingly manor, it’s almost as if he wanted me to admit I was gay. Never once did I think about expressing my feelings due to the fact that he had a girlfriend and I did NOT want to jeopardize their relationship. We graduated in 2020 and went our own ways but still remained close. Since 2020 he and his girlfriend started to seem more exclusive which honestly hurt me but good for them. Unfortunately the feelings for him never left. This past September his girlfriend abruptly broke up with him and he seemed pretty upset. Just this past week we went out for dinner to catch up. We both had a few drinks and the Joe that I remember started to come out…He was pushing the girlfriend question to me. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend” he asked. I brought up that I’ve tried but they don’t work out. “THEY”?! He asks…”Who’s THEY”?! So I gave him that look of (you know I’m gay idiot). And he says “I’ve always knew you were gay”. I was in shock yet relief. The rest of the dinner was him asking what guys I’ve been with or who’s the man of the relationship- just odd questions. About three hours go by and we decide to leave. He gives me a big hug and then we leave….Joe texts me and offers we go to the gym this week. Should I say yes or is this whole wishful thinking game taking a toll. I need advice!!!

in Relationships by (1,190 points)

2 Answers

+3 votes

He asked you if you want to go to the gym, not if you want to start a sexual relationship.  Don't jump to conclusions.

If something more is in the cards, let the hand play out and see what happens.  Can you accept him as a friend and not as a potential lover?  If so, go to the gym.  If not, lay YOUR cards on the table and tell him where you stand.

by (924,720 points)
+2 votes

He obviously isn’t put off with the idea of you being gay as he continues to go out to eat and asked you to go to the gym.

Straight men generally don’t joke about being bi.

So I’d say his chances are he is bi.

Take it slow and see where it goes.

by (959,200 points)
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