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Why are first wives always given such a bad wrap?

+3 votes

Or no credit?  Not to pick on president elect trump but would t it be nice to hear him say I'd like to thank all of my wives- probably the most thanks goes to the first one?  Or Vern Lundquist or Rudy Giuliani or a number of other men we all know in our lives- you never hear a shout out to first wives- why is that?  Was looking at the pics of a guy who's first wife died (which I heard to his friends he was singing ding dong the witch is dead to announce her passing and him becoming a widow)- no mention of her just how beautiful his second wife is and how amazing she is even though they're raising first wives kids- but still not even in death are first wives given a shout out of thanks - I don't get it if anything I think first wife is more telling about him and 9 times out of 10 helped train him or molded him created the wealth and man someone else would desire but still no "thank you?" Why?

asked Dec 12, 2016 in Married Life by Afirecracker (746,180 points)

6 Answers

+1 vote

My boss is always saying his first wife was the "good wife".  He gives her all the credit and they have a great relationship.  He's  probably the only man I've ever been around who appreciates his "first wife" maybe because he's been through more wives and girlfriends and gotten financially burned. I'm betting he wishes he never got rid of her.  

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” ― Dr. Seuss

answered Dec 12, 2016 by easyjolene (615,550 points)
Awe that's kinda sweet and sad
It is.  He seems like a troubled man but, he's got a little big of age on himself now so, I hope he figures it out.
+1 vote

I'm not sure on that. Other than they are the scapegoat.  And I guess that would be applicable for the first husband also.

Second wives are frequently looked on as the bad guys if they were catalyst for breakup.

I guess it depends on where someone is in the mix.

If I met a great guy but he was married I would tell him I wasn't interested in anyone married or involved.

But plenty of women out there who wouldn't care.They might even find it a challenge to get the guy away from the other women.

answered Dec 12, 2016 by Lasuz (789,440 points)
+1 vote

I wonder if a man saying that and praising his first wife would be considered disrespectful and/or insulting to his current wife. I could hear an argument about it with his current wife firing back with "Well if she was so great maybe you should go back with her." I also think that saying the first wife made a man what he is certainly is not always the case and not 9 out of 10 times. If he turned out to be a bad guy or slob or lazy would you say that he was a bad guy or slob or lazy because of the first wife making him that way? I think it is a very individualized conclusion.   

answered Dec 12, 2016 by Your Champion (53,940 points)
+1 vote

First wives usually get a bad rap because of things they say about and do to, the second wife.

answered Dec 12, 2016 by seajaih (220,960 points)
+1 vote

First wives are usually those who were younger, inexperienced, had the kids and now receiving child support and/or alimony.  I never met a man who spoke highly of someone he was paying alimony to.  Plus, bashing #1 gets brownie points from #2. (or 3,4, etc) 

answered Dec 29, 2016 by rhonda35 (79,220 points)
+1 vote

Lots of resentment cause the 1st wives usually got the largest settlement.

answered Dec 29, 2016 by carnivaljoe (487,650 points)
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