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Help pick out her wedding dress?

+3 votes

My future daughter-in-law has asked me to help her pick out her dress.  I thought that her mother would do that... I told her I would be honored but now, I'm wondering why?

I have not even met her family.  Her father is a Baptist preacher and her mother is a Sunday school teacher.  I however am...let's just say not any of those.  I really do not want to.  My husband said maybe she wants me to buy the dress. Am I over thinking this?  I say yes and should just relax and go with it...

By the way, she asked me this today on my 50th birthday.  So, now it's about her and her dress and me wanting to flake out.  I just want to relish in the fact that I'm fecking 50 and feel liberated in an awesome way.


“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” ― Dr. Seuss

asked Jan 5 in Friendship by easyjolene (856,760 points)

5 Answers

+1 vote
You can change your mind, or ask her why she isn't asking her mom to do the honors.    But if you don't want to do it for any reason, tell her.  Maybe her maid of honor could do it.  I think it's odd as well, but I don't know the situation.    Happy Birthday, by the way.  Don't let this silly thing ruin your feckin' 50th  :)

The theory of evolution, like the theory of gravity, is a scientific fact.  NDT

answered Jan 5 by lavender (2,508,580 points)
Thanks, I'm sure I'll figure it out.  After all, I am 50 ******* years old. Damn right.
lol yes.  Go on with your badass 50 fuckin year old self!
Yep indeed!! lol:)
+1 vote

I would be honest and tell her that you are reluctant to accept because you would feel that you would be taking that honor away from her own mother. Tell her that is how you would feel if your daughter asked her future mother in law to help pick out her bridal gown, instead of you. Tell her you would be crushed.  Maybe if you present it exactly this way she will understand. I think that she probably is ticked at her Mom for some reason, maybe she doesn't like your son and doesn't support the wedding at all. She may be  just using you to get back at her Mom. 

answered Jan 5 by Cinders717 (3,394,520 points)
+1 vote

Maybe she values your opinion more than her own mother.  There is not always a negative scenario, ask her why, and base what you do next on her response

Time is simply how we live our lives-Craig Sager

answered Jan 18 by curiousguy (751,160 points)

Thanks.  I've only been around her 4 times in the 6 years they've been together. Of those times, she's only wanted to talk about the gossip she's heard about me.  Of which I have never entertained.  I think that maybe she's just finally reaching out.  I will help her if that is what she wants.

+2 votes

It sounds like she's just trying to be nice, considering you don't know each other very well, I think she just wants you to feel included with the wedding plans. And I really don't think she was trying to put a damper on your birthday (happy birthday by the way.)

She's probably nervous around you, and is hoping that dress shopping together would make for some great bonding time.

I don't know why she didn't ask her own mom, maybe she has terrible taste?

“The lesson is that you can still make mistakes and be forgiven.” – Robert Downey Jr.

answered Jan 18 by Sheogorath (342,420 points)

Thank you and I believe your response is spot on.

+1 vote

I'd be willing to bet that it's not JUST you helping, but her mom, her auntie, her sister(s), her bridesmaids, her grandma, you get the picture. When (if) you show up at the bridal salon it'll be about a thousand of you there.

Just go. One time. I can almost guarantee it won't just be YOU there.

answered Jan 18 by hnygrl (358,660 points)

Yikes. I did not think about that.

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