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Relationships and money

+3 votes

I have always wondered why there are always fights about money in a relationships.  Yes, sometimes money is short and you have to figure things out, but ive always thought, as long as the bills are paid and the savings aren't depleted, why are there so many fights about finances?

I feel that when you are married my wife and I, If I ever got married, would be a team.  All major purchases should at least be discussed

I've just always wondered why there are so many fights about money

Time is simply how we live our lives-Craig Sager

asked Jan 9 in Relationships by curiousguy (586,220 points)

6 Answers

+4 votes
Best answer

That punk ******* that I was married to, would tell people that WE did not have money problems.

But in his demented mind, if there was some money, it was His, so there were no problems.

answered Jan 9 by UnfulfilledDesires (2,299,510 points)
+3 votes

We used to argue in the beginning of our relationship, mostly because of the stress of being poor.   Not that we are wealthy now, we aren't, but we are comfortable, and we never argue about finances anymore.   We don't necessarily discuss major purchases though.  I 'told" my husband I was buying my truck, and asked if he wanted to come with me.  But we trust each other, so we don't feel we need to ask permission.  Hard to explain.

Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount and the tigers are getting hungry

answered Jan 9 by lavender (1,794,730 points)

no, I get it.  You and your husband trust each other that you won't do anything outlandish.  And you still involved him, even though you knew what you would be doing anyway.  That is more of what I mean, not asking for permission but involving each other

Ah, yes.  :)

+3 votes

 Being flat broke has its advantages in college for example your both making due.  The challenge comes when you have to make choices way in advance and then there's accountability- Investing, disparity of incomes can lead the one that did better with career to look down on the spouse that made that possible by managing all the house hold things and daily life, the hardest thing is going broke after starting with nothing work 20 years and crash - house values stock values companies go out of business yours goes out of business so then the work of 20 years was for nothing all the sacrifices stress decisions were for nothing/ having two people that come to the realization they wasted their life could be problematic but add in this is how y'all do as a team it's devastating 

answered Jan 9 by Afirecracker (909,630 points)
+4 votes

My parents argued about money all the time. My dad was always worrying about not having enough money (probably due to being poor in his childhood) but my mom came from a wealthy family and she was not responsible about finances at all.  Mom wanted to spend, dad wanted to save. It was like they were on two different planets when it came to money. 

answered Jan 9 by justpassingthru (961,020 points)
+2 votes

When you don't have enough of anything, there are always conflicts about how to use it.  People have different priorities.  People who are convinced that they are right cannot be easily reasoned with, and so intimidation is resorted to.

Couple this with individual backgrounds.  Poor, middle class, wealthy, and you get serious conflicts.  My wife and I are both poor.  But our early conflicts about how to spend money was because, she wanted to save it all.  She fears living out of a shopping cart under the overpass, although she wasn't that poor.  I wanted to spend the little we had making our current life more enjoyable.  There was usually a compromise.  Spend some, save some.

As our income increased, there were less discussions.  She still won't let me buy the Porsche, but we do have a nice car.

answered Jan 9 by Welloone (624,270 points)
+1 vote

It can be a problem in even unmarried people when money is borrowed from one of them. I know:(  But won't make a fuss because of my level of love and committment.

answered Jan 9 by Cinders717 (2,720,650 points)

I know exactly what you mean

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