Given I could take matters into my own hands so to speak. My partner assured me I was loved and attractive, only said partner claimed to have no sexual desire. After years of handling things on my own I noticed I preferred to be alone more and more partners visits have become somewhat of a burden - and I'm cranky until partner leaves.
Without much thought but being around partner way to much over the holidays I realized the reason I'm so cranky is I couldn't get off until partner left. So in haste I told partner "I'm done being committed to you- for years I've gone without sex you claim it would devastate you if I cheated but it's not cheating since we don't have a sex life- now it's your problem either figure out why there's no sex drive but until we start having sex I'm no longer comitting to a life of celibacy."
For the first time in a long time I felt like I had been a complete fool but thankful I was seeing things clearly. I signed up for a committed sexual relationship not committed to never have sex again.
Since then I've been doing some research and found it interesting the negative effects of long term masterbation : anxiety and loneliness and wanting to be alone- they registered with me- exactly what I've been going through not to mention low self esteem and others.
Now that I'm free to have sex and know how many intimacy and psychological problems accompany masterbation I'm considering giving it up. Your thoughts on if that's possible and how often one would be expected to have sex to not have the urge? Any thoughts on partners that can be committed sexual partners without commitment in emotional/financial areas so to also get the rewards of immune defenses from a single sexual partner- does that have terminology for today's day and age? Where to meet said partner ideas or ways to convey the need would be great.